My Choice!

Many people will not understand my view on being a single mother by choice and that is fine but I do ask you not to leave negative comments on my choice. I am in my mid 20's which I think is a wonderful age to start a family. I have had many boyfriends and a very few that I thought may be the right one for me but for one reason or another nothing has worked out. My father a good man when my mom married him and even when I was born but I was 3 when my mom went back to school and my dad started drinking. It just got worse and worse and I saw him break my moms heart so many times with the choices he was making. I don't ever want to live like that and I never want to bring a child into a life like that. I have a great job that allows me to be financially able to have my own house and even to and a couple children. I am very thankful for that. I have wanted children ever since I was a little girl, so that is no surprise for me. I didn't wake up one morning and feel like I need to have a baby, it has just been with me my whole life that I want a baby. The sperm bank that I have chosen is wonderful, they have a great staff and a good selection of donors, although it is terribly hard to come by a hispanic donor (there are only 2 available at this bank currently).
I did get pregnant in March 2010 only for me to loose that baby when I was 10 weeks pregnant. I am heartbroken about that but I trust that God does have a baby for me, it just wasn't the right time. My doctor does not want me to try again until June or July. Through this blog I will be tracking my cycles and just taking note of this journey.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Who's your donor???

That is the question, right? Thats what everyone will want to know. And most people will totally not understand how I could use an unknown man's "swimmers" to create a baby but I think it is more responsible and smart of me to do that than to meet a man in a bar for one reason only. I am not looking for a husband and I am not looking for a father for this baby to be, I just want to have a baby, I am tired of waiting on "the one".
So you would think picking a donor would be easy or even fun. There are TONS of donors to pick from. Do I want a donor with blonde hair and blue eyes or red hair and green eyes or even brown hair and brown eyes. Or anything inbetween. It is not easy. My dream is to have a dark hair and dark eyed baby boy or girl. I have dark hair and green eyes. My siblings all have dark hair and green eyes as well, but all of their kids are blonde hair and blue eyes (all of their spouses are blonde and blue eyed). It is not that I wouldn't love a baby with blonde hair and blue or green eyes because I would love love it but my dream is for a child with dark hair and dark eyes. I considered an african american donor and I really would consider it more if I lived in a larger city that there were more multi racial children.
I am part native american and german. The donor I chose is hispanic, which I LOVE! He has black hair and brown eyes with long eyelashes. :-) He sounds amazing and I talked to a woman that works with the donors and she said he is one of the nicest donors that she has met. I am so happy with my choice and I hope I get pregnant again on the next ttc cycle.

I didn't want a short donor as I am 5ft 5 inches. The donor is 5 ft 8 in. which was perfect for what I was considering. Also he is a good weight. His family history is good, his parents are healthy and siblings are healthy.

He isn't a new donor, he has been with that bank for a while so he has vials in storage but is no longer donating. I hope very baddly that I get pregnant before they run out of vials of his swimmers.

So how do I tell my family once I get pregnant about the donor. Do I get a long profile and let them read it? I don't know. I may just say what I have said in this blog.
Posted by at

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)